No, not my first time to go to Abuja or make a necessary road trip. If you’re familiar with the current happenings in Nigeria, then you’d salute anyone that decides to make a strenuous, heinous, sometimes scary, but mostly rewarding journey from the South to the North. If the Police does not harass and extort you, there’s a high chance the ‘bandits’ will decide to pick you like a gardener harvesting daffodils.
My first time to the Federal Capital was as an SS1 student, on her way to represent her school in a debate competition. Not much allowance for writing and documentation. Fast forward to last year and my cousin’s wedding. I spent most of the ride either sleeping or gisting with my mum, two cousins, and my brother- who was the designated driver. Today’s own on the other hand, i got to be the Navigator (I always am, on most trips though). Asides that, i was determined to document my journey.
Let us begin, shall we?
We took off from Akure at exactly 6:23AM. Earlier that morning, mum had asked me to call my brother to inform him about my trip and ask him to deliver Steph’s (my niece) princess gown and head gears to me. That way, I can give my sister once i get to Abuja. The gown was made with the same material as the beautiful ball gown I wore at the Miss Southwest grand finale. Take a look at Steph’s beautiful gown and head gears; and of course, my gown of the same material.
The journey from Akure through Ogbese, Owo, Oba, and Oka-Akoko were practically uneventful. I’m familiar with the route and terrain of these towns, hence my reluctance to take some shots. Don’t mind me. Anyway, the trouble started immediately we crossed the Ondo State boundary into Edo State region. That’s what happens when no one listens to me.
“Let’s go through Kabba route. It’s faster and won’t take us through Edo State.”
But did anyone listen to me? No. We took Okene route.
Do I have anything against Edo State? Not at all. I spent the last five years of my life in two separate parts of the State after all. Which makes me familiar with one thing- Their Police. Once your plate number reads Western, especially Lagos, best believe you’re in for some grueling harassment. We crossed the Auchi-Oka-Ekpesa-Ipeme Express road and turned into the road that led to Ibilo. The Second Police checkpoint we encountered, had us getting delayed for twenty to thirty minutes. As at then, it was just 9:30am. They stopped us, asked the usual questions.
“Where are you coming from?”
“Where you dey go?”
“Wetin dey your boot?”
We answered all these calmly. They asked for the car papers and we presented them. This crude looking one asked us to park well and leave the road. That was when I knew gbege don start. We parked, all the while monitoring the man, to be sure he was not going to remove any part of the document discreetly. He asked for my boss’s driver’s license, it was provided.
This is where I mention that we were five in the car. My boss and I in front, David, Martha, and Breeze at the back. Don’t worry, you’ll be familiar with our roles before the end of this long read.
That was when the man said we had Lagos plates, and Lagos plates comes with one particular document. Note that my boss is a member of one of the Catholic Religious Orders; Salesians of Don Bosco, and we were carrying a car with not only that emblem, but that of the Catholic Mission boldly written on the sides. He tried explaining that it was a community car, not his personal car, as Catholic Religious can’t have personal properties. Hence, documents are gotten by each community’s driver and this one was complete; although the car lives in Akure; which was why it did not have that particular one he was demanding.
David (red), Martha, Breeze (Black shirt), and I all looking stressed
Boss and him had to take the matter to his own oga that was sitting on a bench, while his other minions took NGN100 from the commercial drivers passing.
After getting over my irritation with the delay (I mean, delaying us wouldn’t magically provide the document, would it?) I remembered I said I was going to make a post for my travel blog. What better time to take landmark pictures than when not in transit?
So, I got out my phone and went to take a picture of this really lonely road beside their car, because there was a 3D version of it on Google Maps, when I checked our location.
Boom! That was how they vexed oh. That I was trying to add to our offense by taking pictures. My boss was trying to explain that I was a blogger, but dem no wan hear.
The crude looking one con dey para, started shouting, and you know me now, I was ready to give his ugly (pardon me please) ass a piece of my mind, but my boss asked me to go back to the car.
Told my boss, “Its cuz of you oh.”, next thing, crude one started again. “Ehn ehn, if no be him, wetin you wan do?”
I just crossed the road and ignored him.
He kept shouting, “I’m talking to you, come back here.”
I just ignored, because heaven knows I was at the tipping point. Life don kuku taya me before, shooting me will be doing me a favour. (kidding)
They sha asked me to be carrying my wahala away. Then their oga told Boss that he’s also Catholic, so he’ll let Boss go. I just dey yinmu in the car. Linus Mohammed the second.
We hadn’ t driven more than 15 minutes when we encountered another checkpoint. This time, the delay could not be quantified. Omo, dem leave us for sun.
You know what was funny, the guy that stopped us at the next checkpoint, had been passing other cars, but you needed to see the glee on his face when he saw our car and quickly told us to park. Red flag 1.
He asked for papers, but barely went through it, before asking for the same document as checkpoint 1. Red flag 2.
That was when it became obvious to me that these guys do call one another.
Anyway, after thirty minutes of back and forth and delaying, they said they wanted 5k, but Boss was able to reduce it to 3k. (Cheapskates)
They then gave us a police to sit in front, (The donkeys relegated me to back seat), to pass other checkpoints till we cross into Ibilo town proper. When we got to Ibilo junction, oga Police collected another 1k, and I finally had my seat back.
We droopped him in front of this school
Journey thankfully continued without a hitch after that till we got to Okene, refueled car, body, and soul, and continued the trip. Not much happened till we got to our destination, so I’m just going to be a tour guide for the rest of this article. I was asleep all through Okene and some parts of somewhere called Confluence. No, we did not pass the confluence itself.
When we got to Lokoja, I managed to open my eyes all through the ride past The Federal University of Lokoja, Felele Campus, The Federal Polytechnic with its high and death trap speed breakers, and this super interesting marsh.
The marsh at Lokoja
Inside this wide Marsh, we could see farmers planting things that looked like rice, or barley, or maybe millet. It was probably rice or millet, seeing as all we saw after crossing into Abaji were millet farms. Lots and lots of those. Phew! Those guys sure love their millet.
Anyway, back to Lokoja. We got to the bridge and boss thought it would be a good idea to buy some kuli-kuli. They looked really enticing. These guys had donkua, kuli-kuli, chin-chin, and weird looking dodo. We chose the flat, somehow round, flaky-looking kuli-kuli. The girl selling to us did not have change, so she had to go break the money, but when she tried catching up to us, the long hijab she had on would not let her run very fast. We had to pass the military checkpoint, got on the bridge, before parking and waiting for her. We couldn’t drive away with her kuli-kuli without paying her. The stuff was really nice.
kuli-kuli
Lokoja has some very interesting sights. I think my favourite would be the picturesque homes set against the sprawling green hills. They looked like homes found in The Shire, if you’ve seen The Lord of The Rings. You could also picture Teletubbies, and you’ll get the visual I’m trying to paint.
Our trip was in November and the greenery wasn’t so green, yet it was still beautiful. Now imagine how glorious it would look during Spring. It would be blossoming. If I wasn’t so scared of kidnappers and road accidents, I would consider coming back just to check that out and take cool pictures.
Lokoja bridge
We crossed into Abaji and I thought it was just a quaint little town, until we had to keep going on and on, and it was just farms and lush green hills. Naaaah, North Central is beautiful. I could not snap all these though, seeing as the car just won’t slow down, and I was too busy taking it all in. I did snap something in town though. The little bit of civilization I caught.
Mosque with spires
Finally, after staring at herds of cow and millet plantations for kilometres, we finally hit Kwali.
Let me put it out there that my first experience with Kwali was the FGC. I also attended a Federal Unity School, and that debate competition I spoke of earlier, we were to be put up at FGC Kwali, but it was so old and….well, old. So, they took most of us, the girls, to FGGC Bwari, where I saw huge girls. Story for another day.
Anyway, in Kwali, the town looked better than the last time I saw it, and the FGC was definitely looking nicer. At least the gate was. It is an old school, established ’84, so I can’t blame it for looking so ancient. Let’s hope the interior has also been given a face-lift and not just the exterior.
FGC Kwali
We passed Kwali and some small villages and….. drumroll please, dundundundundun, Abuja!
Sadly, since we were going to Kubwa, we somehow didn’t pass the city gate. Heartbreak ladies and gentlemen. I saw something pretty though. Zuma Rock.
I took some shots, but they probably look weird to you. Let’s check it out, shall we?
Zuma rock
Abuja roads are so wide and pot-holes free. We probably looked like the tourists we were, as we all gawked at the city.
We thankfully got to our destination, right there in the heart of Kubwa. The St. John Mary Vianney Catholic Church. Run by the Salesians of Don Bosco.
Let me tell you that I lost count of Planes and jets that simply wouldn’t stop flying over head. Saw red-bellied, blue-bellied, weirdly coloured aeroplanes and small jets.
We were so tired and I had a clanging headache, but hey, food sounded like the cure. So, we were taken into the house for lunch while we met our host; Fr. Niyi, SDB.
Boss and Lunch
That’s my Boss, and that was lunch and Breeze shining teeth.
So, we came here because on Saturday, 27th November 2021, the Don Bosco movie; The Oratory, will be premiering in Ceddi Plaza, Abuja. Lagos Premiere already happened.
So, being the members of the Don Bosco Art43Media, Breeze and I will be the red carpet hosts, David and Boss will cover the camera, while Martha will be in charge of sounds.
So, I’ll be rounding off this tale here, because I am drowsy and I’ll probably start typing nonsense. Let’s save one another that embarrassment and go to bed. Thank you for reading, and see you next blog post.
Yours,
Oluwaseun Beatrice Wende.
